Can you match the facials in the picture with their descriptions below? Three of them are top-rated face masks at Ulta, and one is, uh, not. A. Queen Helene Mud Pack Masque with Natural English Clay ($3.99 at Ulta) Purpose: To target signs of aging (but there’s some all-ages fun in there, too—it’s supposed to relax facial muscles and boost circulation). Smell: Fresh. Like the cleanest possible mud! Texture: Thick and creamy, but it hardened into a face-shaped mud cake. Sensation: As it hardened, it felt like my face was freezing into place. Or growing scales, which would be way cooler. When I walked around the office in it: One stranger saw me and said “Oh, whoa.” Then I ran away. Afterward, my skin felt: A little dry, like I had just washed my face. When I touched my face, though, it felt insanely smooth. My friend touched my cheek and now she respects me more. B. The Body Shop Tea Tree Face Mask ($2.50 at Ulta) Purpose: To kill off bacteria and purify the skin. Smell: Spicy and therapeutic, like a fancy cough drop. I want to say it smelled like green tea, but green tea doesn’t smell much. Texture: Like lotion, and it never hardened. It just sat on my face. Sensation: A little tingly! When I walked around the office in it: Two strangers held the door for me and seemed totally unfazed. Afterward, my skin felt: Maybe a little cleaner, but the effect was less marked than if I had just washed my face. Not a big change. C. A Giraffe Mask Purpose: To make you look more like a giraffe. Smell: None. Texture: Sort of like a disposable plate? Sensation: Fine. When I walked around the office in it: I didn’t for this one. However, I did find it in the office, hanging mysteriously from a pipe. Afterward, my skin felt: The same. D. Montagne Jeunesse Fruit Smoothie Masque ($1.99 at Ulta) Purpose: To deep-clean and soften the skin. Smell: Every fruit at once, especially raspberries. Texture: Yogurt-ish. A little more liquid than the mud mask. Sensation: Like the mud mask, it went on wet and then froze up. So that was weird (again). When I walked around the office in it: A stranger said “A facial!” He seemed excited, like maybe I had inspired him to go home and give himself a facial, too. Afterward, my skin felt: So fresh and so clean. It also looked a little brighter and more awake. Not that skin is conscious, but you know.

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Answers: 1. B, 2. C, 3. D, 4. A